My Brain Thinks So Ep. 1

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Good morning everyone or Good <insert the time of day here during which you are listening this podcast>. I am Samhita Joshi, a living being in this universe in which we all co-exist and a host for this podcast named “My Brain Thinks So” and at the time of recording, it is a beautiful morning and I don’t exactly know and therefore have no say on when this podcast will be uploaded to the cloud, cloud meaning computers or should I say servers inside the data centres not the clouds that make data wet, a reference to an answer given by one of the teachers/instructors from White Hat Jr. to a query asked by an innocent child, who is or was not so innocent I think. (Chuckle)

So here is a list of things that I find sort of annoying. Not exactly annoying, just kind of. This list is a subset, a small one, of the list that I would have labelled “Things I don’t like about this world”:

1.     Imagine for a moment, though this situation should never actually happen because it would be quite horrible if it did, that while travelling through a plane or a train, something of that sort, that you suddenly collapse because something serious has happened to you and you are in sudden need of serious medical attention, even though you were physically and mentally and by every means fit for an air travel and have air-travelled many times before, without any difficulties because emergencies can happen anytime. Let us specifically suppose that it’s a plane and there are no emergency doctors there and therefore one of the air hostesses shouts out loud “any doctor here?” and then a person, say “Dr. Edwin Magoosh”, raises his hand “Yes. I am one.” to which the air hostess replies “Sir, what just has happened is what we call a medical emergency and being a doctor, you might of some help to us”, something on those lines but more politely than how I said and you know what the Dr. says “No. I am not that kind of doctor. I hold a PhD in Mathematics.” It could be PhD in Music Theory for that matter, or anything else. What I am here to say is, that Dr. Magoosh is not an MBBS doctor and therefore is of no use. What would you do now? You are lying there collapsed, not knowing what is happening in your surroundings.

The conclusion: PhD awardees must not be called Drs. They must be called something else like Pr.(P capital and r small and then a dot just like Dr.) And if they have to be called Drs., the actual surgeons or the dentists or the clinic doctors i.e the real doctors: the doctors who prescribe medicines and now you must have clear understanding of whom I am talking about: those kinds of doctors must be called something else.

2.      Words having more than one meaning or the words having different meanings in different circumstances: “these words are the reason why puns exist”. These are the words or a series of words that cause difference in meaning in what the speaker has said and what the listener has perceived. Misunderstandings are just one consequence. Take for instance the sentence: “I shot a rat in boxer pants”:

·        Was the rat shot with a gun or with a camera?

·        Was the rat wearing boxer pants or was I wearing boxer pants?

·        Was the rat hiding in boxer pants?

See. This hideous sentence may be hiding even more meanings than what I just discussed here. These words/sentences are the reason why “sentiment analysis” is a thing in computer science. These are the reason why there is a specific branch of machine learning called NLP or Natural Language Processing, dedicated to understanding, analysing and doing what not, just to make dumb machines mimic human behaviour.

3.      Game Streamers are more popular than the Game Developers. According to my brain, it must have been just the opposite. But the world, our world at least, doesn’t work this way. Can’t say anything for other worlds, if multiverse is a thing.

4.      Making fun of others and gaining respect this way has become a thing on YouTube. I am talking about people who call themselves “roasters”. Here we come again: the word “roast” has more than one meaning, for instance:

·        Roasting potatoes or any other vegetable.

·        Roasting and Calcination: Metallurgy here.

·        Roasting other people: YouTube.

5.      Numbers don’t matter but still they do. Take for instance: the marks you obtained in your class test. These kinds of tests measure your memory not your knowledge. They don’t test you they just test your brain. Even if you have studied nothing for the test, you can possibly score a perfect 10/10 by just copying what your bench-mate, who studied everything for the test, is scribbling on his/her answer sheet. Teachers aren’t supposed to guess who is more intelligent by these test marks. Even a dumb person who knows how to copy exactly, with sheer luck, can score 10/10, every time. But the teachers still fall for these traps. These marks which were not supposed to matter, suddenly do.

The number of followers on someone’s social media account, they are just numbers, they were just supposed to be some numbers, but they still matter. That is how you become a social media influencer. Those numbers make you that.

The number of subscribers on a YouTube channel shouldn’t matter. They are just numbers. But people still fall for them. People still don’t stop (quote-unquote) “begging” for subscribers. People still consider it a milestone “surpassing 100 thousand or 10^6” or some other stupid 10 raised to some positive integer. People still celebrate that thing.

Numbers weren’t supposed to matter but they still do.

 

The currency works because we have agreed that it would. We have agreed that a particular paper, precisely a piece of linen or cotton fibre, will hold a value much more than what a plain A4 sized paper would. We have found out that the rules of thermodynamics are always followed, that physics always works but still we haven’t been able to bound humanity to some rules, rules that precisely predict the human behaviour. (Take that from me, alliteration!) We haven’t found out why some humans behave a certain way, while others, given the same circumstances, behave otherwise. That is why I periodically think and I should say it here too “the world isn’t complex, the humans are.”

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